


our universe was clothed in light

by ephmere



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst for like 2 seconds, Established Relationship, Fluff, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Phone Calls, Thunderstorms, it’s exactly what it seems like my guy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2020-05-15 04:57:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19288606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ephmere/pseuds/ephmere
Summary: Loneliness. The word drifted into Kenma’s mind suddenly, as the rain pounded on above him. That was this feeling, loneliness.





	our universe was clothed in light

**Author's Note:**

> i was depressed and it started raining. then this happened. (i am most definitely late to the hq party but kenhina has all the rights)

Kenma was seated by his window, watching intently as the raindrops traced their paths along the glass. They moved quickly, and with ferocity, making swirls and loops and shapes that had no name. He watched as one in particular ran downwards in an almost completely straight line, before it was swallowed up by another, larger drop. 

 

The rain pelted against Kenma’s roof so violently that it made his skin crawl, refusing to relent even a little as the minutes dragged on by. It was loud, too loud for him to sleep, and so he was gazing out of his window with a mug of tea clenched in his hand, instead of taking his usual late afternoon nap. The sky was a dismal, dark gray, lit up occasionally only by sharp flashes of lightning. It was so muddled with clouds that it made Kenma’s thoughts feel muddled too, as they shifted and changed shape and drifted by slowly. 

 

The clouds were crying, and Kenma felt like he wanted to, too. 

 

There was something, he mused, something about the way that the rain was falling onto the pavement today, that stirred up something painful inside of his chest. It seemed desperate, the way that the raindrops were carving up his window into little roadways, scrambling to reach whatever destination they had in mind. It was a bit sad, how so many of them crossed paths without meaning to, and how this ended up being detrimental to them all. 

 

It reminded him of himself, of the way that he did so much to avoid that kind of thing, the way that he purposefully always walked with his head down and eyes averted, hunched over in his baggy jackets as to not attract any attention. If there was any raindrop that could come across unscathed, it would be him.

 

Of course, he supposed that that wasn’t entirely true. No, quite awhile ago, he had collided with something else. 

 

But it hadn’t been another raindrop, because it hadn’t caused him to feel any devastation. No, it was something more akin to the sun, to the sun peeking out through the clouds and casting its rays onto the rivers of rain plaguing the streets and windows, warming him up slowly and pulling him upwards until he was nothing more than air again. 

 

As Kenma’s mind continued to wander, he eyed the houses lining the street. They were all dark, the shutters all closed, the only sign of life being the yellow glow of artificial light spilling out from the cracks in the blinds. No sounds were uttered from these places. No shadows moved across the curtains. He was probably the only one looking out of the window at a time like this.

 

Loneliness. The word drifted into his mind suddenly, as the rain pounded on above him. That was this feeling, loneliness.

 

Normally, he enjoyed being alone. Being with other people made him do all sorts of funny things, like freeze up and sweat and have his words get stuck in his throat. He cherished the hours he got after school, after practice, the hours spent locked in his room with the glow of the television screen and the sound of his fingers clicking the buttons on his controller being the only thing to accompany him. (Although more often than not, he found himself texting and videochatting a certain sunshine-filled boy as well.)

 

This type of alone was different. It was, Kenma thought as a raindrop hit his window with a splat, suffocating. 

 

The _feeling_ of this evening, with its desperate raindrops and closed-off houses and violent thundering, wasn’t comfortable. It wasn’t safe. It made his skin itch, it made him want someone by his side to distract him from the whirlwind of thoughts brewing in his mind. To distract him so that the thoughts didn’t erupt into a full-fledged storm such as the one currently pouring over Tokyo. 

 

As soon as he realized this, he found himself setting down his mug of tea and reaching for his phone, body moving without thinking. He dialed the number, barely having to look down to do so. It seemed that his fingers had memorized just what to do on their own.

 

Lightning flashed before his eyes, as he drew his phone up to his ear. It was followed by a crackle of thunder, and a particularly violent smattering of rain against the roof, and he shivered.

 

The phone rang only twice before the person on the other line answered.

 

“Hey, Kenma!” An energetic voice chirped, contrasting sharply with the dreary weather outside.

 

“Hey, Shouyou.”

 

Another quick flash of lighting, followed almost immediately by a deafening crash. Kenma curled his toes into the carpet. 

 

“Woah, what was that?” 

 

Shouyou’s voice, always filled with such raw emotion, sent a small burst of energy throughout Kenma. It made his insides start to feel tingly, as they usually did around Shouyou, in the aftermath of the obscenely loud thunder that had just echoed across his street. It felt refreshing. 

 

“Thunder.” Kenma replied. “It’s storming...” He tacked on.

 

Shouyou paused for a second, and Kenma was relieved to find that he could hear his quiet breathing over the steady beat of the rain. If he listened closely, he could almost drown it out completely...

 

“It sounds really loud. Is it bad?”

 

“Yeah.” 

 

Another raindrop met its doom as it intercepted a different one on its way to the bottom of the windowsill.

 

“Are you okay, Kenma?” Shouyou asked softly, a note of concern present in his tone. “You sound a bit... off.” 

 

Kenma eyed the still houses in front of him, the way that darkness and apathy seemed to be radiating off of them despite the glow of lights behind the drapes. 

 

“Not really.” He admitted.

 

There was no shame, he’d come to learn, in being honest with Shouyou. He would always stick to Kenma’s side, seemingly attached at the hip, and it had been a bit annoying at first, but in a way that could also only be described as comforting. When they’d started dating, Shouyou had stressed this fact even more. 

 

“What’s wrong?” 

 

Kenma felt the ache in his chest deepen at Shouyou’s worry. _The clouds are crying,_ he thought once more, _and I feel like I want to, too._

 

“I don’t really know,” He mumbled. “It started raining, and I just felt... Really lonely.” 

 

Thunder boomed again, and Kenma despised the sound of it. He preferred Shouyou’s voice much more, the softer tones of it beginning to seep into the corners of his mind and soothe him.

 

In the small silence that followed, Kenma pictured the younger boy. What was he doing now? he wondered. It wasn’t raining in Miyagi, so would he be seated by his window too? Or maybe he was curled up in bed, the phone in one hand while the other dangled by his side. He could be at his desk as well, Kenma figured, with his fingers clenched around a pencil that was scribbling across a page. 

 

No matter where he imagined Shouyou, though, he imagined him looking beautiful, eyes sparkling and lips formed in a small smile.

 

His heart hurt, hurt like the sky above him was hurting.

 

“And I miss you.” Kenma added. 

 

The steady thrum of the rain continued.

 

“I miss you too, Kenma.” Shouyou said seriously. “Like, _so_ much. Sometimes I can’t stop thinking about you at night, so I wear your jacket. The one you forgot at my house when you visited, remember?” 

 

Kenma remembered. In truth, he hadn’t forgotten it. He’d left it on purpose, wanting to see what Shouyou would do, because he hadn’t been able to divert his attention away from how endearing he assumed that Shouyou would look in it. It was a size too big, and the mere _thought_ of him with sweater paws was enough to convince Kenma to drop it right on top of Shouyou’s backpack, pretending as thought it’d all been an accident.

 

It hadn’t failed to make heat rush to his cheeks when he’d been texted a photograph from Shouyou of him wearing the jacket, floppy sleeves and all, and it didn’t fail to make Kenma blush now, either.

 

Another crackle of thunder filled his ears, but the warmth on his face seemed to be a bit stronger than the previous negative thoughts brought on by it. 

 

“That’s too cute, Shouyou.” 

 

Shouyou let out a squawk. “I-It’s not! You know you can’t just _say_ stuff like that, Kenma!” He groaned.

 

“But you deserve to hear it.”

 

“You don’t think it’s weird?! I thought you would think it would be weird...”

 

Kenma had torn his gaze from the window now, instead choosing to eye the mug he had set down earlier. Shouyou had given it to him a few weeks ago, and had written a message on the bottom, a playful _you’re cute!_ in messy handwriting. Kenma found it strange as he recalled how he’d reached for that mug before the rain had even started. 

 

“I left it at your house on purpose, Shouyou.” 

 

A pause.

 

“ _What?!_ Oh my God, Kenma, that’s so...” Shouyou shouted, trailing off as he struggled to find the correct word to articulate his feelings.

 

“Gwah!” is what met Kenma’s ears. 

 

He felt a small smile tug at the corner of his lips. The rain, still pitter pattering loudly outside, was slowly being forgotten, though it was right within his line of sight. 

 

“I don’t know what that means.” 

 

(Kenma did kind of know what it meant, having been around Shouyou for so long at this point, but he said it anyways.)

 

Shouyou let out a small laugh, and Kenma felt his heart burn in his chest. Shouyou’s laugh was one of his favorite things, right above video games and sleep. 

 

“It means... Like... I dunno...” Shouyou hesitated for a second, and then exclaimed, “Oh! It means I love you!”

 

Kenma’s cheeks grew warm very, very again, as tiny fireworks seemed to go off in his chest. _Pop, pop, pop,_ one for every word at the end of Shouyou’s sentence. They filled his body up with that one feeling, that one delicious feeling that always encompassed him from head to toe whenever he heard Shouyou utter that phrase.

 

Shouyou’s voice had been so fond, so honest, that when the next crash of thunder followed the next strike of lightning, Kenma didn’t hear it. When the next drop of rain got lost within another on the window, Kenma didn’t see it. The only thing encapsulating his attention in that moment was Shouyou. Shouyou, Shouyou, Shouyou.

 

“Okay, then...” Kenma started. “Um... Shouyou...” He paused. Then, “I don’t really know how you do it but, uh, _gwah._ ”

 

He felt ridiculous as soon as the sound escaped his mouth, embarrassment immediately coloring his cheeks an even deeper shade of red. He mentally winced just the tiniest bit. 

 

But then Shouyou laughed, a kind and raw and loud laugh, one that wasn’t poking fun at Kenma but was rather laughing in endearment, laughing because he was in love, and Kenma found himself so overwhelmed with warmth, and light, that he was soon letting out breathy giggles as well. 

 

His eyes drifted back to the window, to the desperate raindrops, to the silence of the street, to the raging winds that were no doubt toppling over trees and sending small animals scattering. But he didn’t feel lonely anymore, he realized. No, instead, he felt oddly at peace, amidst all of the chaos that was the rain.

 

Though the storm was still swirling away outside, Kenma found that the sun was shining anyways.

**Author's Note:**

> [bass boosted] pls leave comments if u have anything to say. like literally anything at all. kudos and bookmarks are appreciated as well mwah


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